Risky Utterance
“Contemplating my existence here on earth…while a new painting is emerging before me. Saw a video called 2012 Message of Hope. I could live for that…I could exist for that…is it possible? That I shift the vibration of humanity? It would be indescribable…miraculous. It could be the answer to my ‘this isn’t enough’…’there must be more’…’why am I here?’…’what am I doing?’
My world of painting, my cabin, prairies, land….chain-saw friends…farmer friends…sons, daughters…my beloved…my extended beloveds…all part of my circle. What am I to express? What is to be kept private? I can’t tell what matters.
Feel separate, distant, withdrawn…what is even happening? I’m tired. Push all the time. The panic to matter in this life.
I’ve been feeling the fear in others….try to put out their ‘fire’…not sure I impact it at all. I want to make a difference in the world. More and more, seeing the common plight. The common panic…the common fear. Fear or love. It’s seems that simple…
I’m a coyote howling at the moon.
Please embrace this authentic pulse…this risky utterance”
…laurel